Skip to main content

Katatawanan II


Here's another sample of pinoy jokes online.

 Use the following words in a sentence:

 Schooling
(phone rings).....Hello? Who SCHOOLING? (Who's Calling)
Affect
Maria is wearing AFFECT diamond ring. (A Fake)
Adieu
If you are ADIEU, the Arabs will kill you. (A Jew)
Decanter
You can order that medicine over DECANTER. (The Counter)
Deletion
The balat of DELETION is crispy. (The Lechon)
Despise
Who baked all DESPISE? (These Pies)
Different and Differential
I am looking for DIFFERENT of this boy to get DIFFERENTIAL consent so he can go to the picnic. (The Parent and The Parental)
Chicken Not Bread
If I put a bag over my wife's head then Chee kennot bread!" (She Cannot Breathe)
Persuading
The newly married couple will celebrate their PERSUADING anniversary next year. (First Wedding)
Deposit
When washing my hands, I always turn on DEPOSIT. (The Faucet)
Deficit
Before going into the pool, I always check how DEFICIT. (Deep Is It)
Protestant
I always get my apples and saging at the PROTESTANT. (Fruit Stand)
Devastation
I wait for the bus at devastation. (The Bus Station)
Analyze and Anatomy
My ANALYZE over the ocean, so bring back my ANATOMY. (Ana Lies and Ana To Me)
Masturbation
Many 3rd world countries are suffering from MASTURBATION. (Mass Starvation)
Tenacious
Before playing tennis I have to put on my TENACIOUS. (Tennis Shoes)
Deduct, Defense, Defeat andDetail
DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE. DEFEAT first, DETAIL last. (The duck, the fence, the feet and the tail)
Associate
I looked in the toilet and ASSOCIATE. (I saw shit)
Dinuguan
I tried turning on the TV, but it DINUGUAN. (Did Not Go On)
Penis
Before you play outside, PENIS your homework. (Finish)
Uno, Dos, Tres
UNO! DOS TRES are on fire!(Oh no! Those trees)
Cadet
CADET ko si Maria noong isang gabi. Ngayon, ikaw naman ang CADET niya. (Ka-date)
Mention
Ang laki ng bahay nila, parang MENTION. (Mansion)
Borrow
Ang dumi naman ng BORROW mo. (Baro)
Caesarean
Lintek,anak, mag-ingat ka, CAESAREAN mo iyang laruan mo. (Sisirain)
Contemplate
Pare, ang dami-daming pagkain, pero CONTEMPLATE. (Konti ang plate)
Artesia (A city in California)
Nako naman, ang ganda-ganda ng bebot na 'yon, per, ma-ARTESIA. (arte siya)
Cardiac
Na-CARDIAC 'yong kotse ni Pedro noong isang gabi. (Carjack)
Centurion
Na-CENTURION si Pedro ng tatay niya dahil sa kalokohan niya. (Sinturon)
Dedicate
'pag ginamitan ng glue, siguradong DEDICATE iyan. (Didikit)
Delicacy
Bagal mo...DELICACY mahuhuli na tayo. (Dali Kasi)
Depreciate
Sister, DEPRECIATE already, kaya puede na tayong kumain. (The priest ate)
Diffusion
Brownout....siguradong DIFFUSION pumutok. (The fuse 'yon)
Laity
Tag-LAITY si Imelda Marcos. (Leyte)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Abdominal Epilepsy?

The other day, I encountered an uncommon medical diagnosis, abdominal epilepsy. Maybe I was absent when this was taught in med school or maybe it was mentioned but it just didn't register in my memory bank. Anyway, for those colleagues who haven't heard of this as well, here's what I found out about it, so that next time you are faced with a weird abdominal pain, you will think of abdominal epilepsy as a differential. There are many medical causes of abdominal pain; abdominal epilepsy is one of the rare causes. From a medical perspective, the term epilepsy refers not to a single disease, but to a group of symptoms with numerous causes. The common factor in all forms of epilepsy is an excessive electrical excitability of the brain. The increased excitation is called a seizure and may manifest as a partial or total loss of consciousness and muscle spasms or other involuntary movements. Many conditions can produce epilepsy. For example, a genetic predisposition is
Post a Comment
Read more

"Ganacity"

If there's one word that I will never forget from my AGSB experience, it's "ganacity"! A word frequently mentioned by our FinMan professor. What does it mean? It's a combination of the tagalog word "gana" (appetite, zest) and the english suffix "city" which converts an adjective word into a noun. 'Ganacity' therefore refers to one's state of desire or interest in something. I am sharing this because I feel that my 'ganacity' for what I am doing now is spiralling down, and it is so difficult to reverse it back up or just to keep it at a maintained level. It is becoming a struggle on a day to day basis. I am hoping that night and day will alternate fast so that this battle will end soon.
Post a Comment
Read more

What to Think About this Holy Week

As we prepare for the coming week, let us be reminded again of this powerful message. In the message "Believe and Be Restored" we considered our need to believe that what God said is true. He said the death and resurrection of Jesus was the final sacrifice for our sin, and that those who believe would receive the gift of eternal life. Clearly, our Salvation is a gift from God; "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith" (Ephesians 2:8). We did nothing to earn our Salvation and there is nothing we must now do to keep it, we simply must believe; "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1). Though our sins are forgiven and Jesus is 100% sufficient for Salvation - though we walk in grace and are absolutely free of condemnation - sin in our life still causes temporary separation and tension in our relationship with God. Therefore, over and over in scripture, we are called to a life of holiness: "As obedient chi
Post a Comment
Read more