In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Nestle and Selecta Ice Cream and Dunkin Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "Yummy"!, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled. God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. Satan brought forth the white flour from the wheat,and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." But Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts after eating. God then s...